Saturday October 1, 2016
This all started with a simple thought after Jared's memorial service. There were so many people I saw there but never got to talk to - especially some of his friends. My mother's heart was hurting for you. I was thinking of writing those of you who left your address and send it snail mail. That would be...ridiculous. So I thought of doing a blog. I never even read a blog. I was encouraged by my friend, Pam, to go on Jared's Facebook page and send you the link that way. What a great idea. How do I get on Facebook? That's right, I wasn't even on Facebook 2 days ago and here I am now-a blogger!?
What was most difficult for me was to say that he was an addict - yet he was. Nor did I want to tell how he died from and overdose - but he did. The drugs and alcohol not only consumed Jared physically but had robbed him of his hopes and dreams, leaving him with many regrets. Through it all he still loved God and God still loved him.
While Jared was in rehab, and for a short time after, I got to see "him" again without the effects of his addictions. I got to see "my son" - the real him. We walked and talked and I heard him really laugh. It's what every mother longs for with her child. It didn't last for very long but I'm so very grateful I had it.
I've learned many things through this. It's amazing how such difficult and tragic times can teach you some of life's most important lessons, if you're willing to grow. I do not want to become stagnant or bitter, living in the past. Neither do I want it to be all for nothing and life goes on as before. My desire is to develop who I am as a person and "use" this situation for my good instead of letting it eat at me. Life, after all, is about the choices we make when we're dealt a lousy hand.
I would like to share some of these life lessons with you. Maybe they will help you find a shortcut in whatever you're going through. If that is so then it's all been worth it. God gives me names for them - here's a few:
Letting Go in Order to Keep
Water and Fire
Love Overpowers Loss
There's 2 things you need to know about each life lesson. First, They were not easy or pleasant at the time. In other words, I wasn't asking God to teach me a lesson - hardly. Second is the fact that if Jared hadn't known Jesus as his Savior I would have nothing. You see, because he did, I have the assurance of being with my sons in glory - forever! Right now is only temporary. I don't like the fact that I can no longer be with Jared here but I know that I know that I know God is in control. He is the biggest fish.