- WHY JARED'S HEART - 1
- JARED'S JEANS - 2
- NEW BEGINNINGS - 3
- LOVE OVERPOWERS LOSS - 4
- WHY ISN'T LOVE ENOUGH - 5
- LETTING GO IN ORDER TO KEEP - 6
- OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED - 7
- A YEAR IN THE POTTER'S HANDS - 8
- THE SILENT ROAR - 9
- THE WORD - 10
- PRAISE GOD, I'M ALIVE - 11
- WATER AND FIRE - 12
- LOVE NEVER FAILS - 13
- POSITION DETERMINES PERSPECTIVE - 14
- OVERCOMER - 15
- TEARS AND WALLS - 16
- WARRIOR ARISING - 17
- BACK TO THE BEGINNING - 18
- BUT NOW I SEE GOD! - 19
- GOD'S GRACE - 20
- MEMORIAL MESSAGE
- JARED'S PICTURES - MEMORIAL DVD
LETTING GO IN ORDER TO KEEP - 6
Friday, April 7, 2017
This lesson of 'letting go' spanned 10 years of Jared's life and was the hardest. However, the Lord revealed to me how this will be a blessing for all eternity. When you think about it, our children are just on loan to us for a time-not really ours but God's.
One time of letting go was after the divorce and Jared wanted his father to be residential parent - so off to court we went. After 6 months and a guardian ad Litem was not in agreement with them, a forth lawyer was being brought in. This is when I began to seek God about my pursuing this any further. He gave me 2 answers, the second stronger than the first, that I should let him go. I told God I was sorry but I needed to hear from Him again because if anything were to happen I needed to know that I know that I know I wasn't giving up but I was doing what He wanted. I knew it was Him because I would have never thought of this. He asked me, "Did Jesus look victorious on the cross?" I responded with "No." God then told me, "Jared's third day is coming." You see, Jesus rose on the third day conquering death, hell and the grave. So I let him go. You mothers can imagine the heart break.
Another time was later that same year after a soccer game when Jared was to come over for the weekend. We got to his house for him to get his things and while we were sitting in the car he said he wanted to come to my house but his dad was having a party. As his eyes began to well up with tears he said, " I don't want to hurt you." I had felt for awhile that my son was like a rubber band being pulled in 2 directions and I was concerned he would 'snap'. I told him just that and that I loved him enough to let him go because I didn't want to see that happen. I would rather have you, Jared, spend 1 hour with me when you want to than a whole weekend of your not wanting to be with me.
Fast forward to August 18, 2016 - the day after the life lesson 'Love Overpowers Loss'. It's now time to get back to 'normal' so I decided to go to Fitness 19. To say I was working out is a gross overstatement - I was there. I began to think of all the times I had to let Jared go. In fact, I felt like all I did, in his short life, was let him go. When I heard very faintly, " But we won." "What?" - not sure if I said it out loud or not. Then clearly I heard, " We won- he's in heaven. All those times of letting go will allow you to hold him for all eternity." I started to get teary - sometimes I wish God would take into consideration where you're at.
Standing in the gym that day I didn't feel victorious - my son was still gone. My spirit man, however, was greatly encouraged because I had heard God all those years ago and He was in control. This did not take Him by surprise. You see, God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. It's Like the old hymn says -Trust and obey, for there's no other way...
As I pondered 'Letting Go in Order to Keep' I thought of all the different ways that it is true:
*Let Go of the things of the world to Keep the kingdom of God.
*Let Go of stress and worry and Keep peace.
*Let Go of wrong attitudes to Keep a loving spirit.
*Let Go of wrong thoughts and Keep your mind on Christ... I think you've got the idea.
I don't know what you may be going through but I know God does. Search after Him as a priceless treasure with all you have. He alone holds the key - whether it's letting go or pulling close - He will let you know. He loves you and wants what's best for you.